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...peek inside my mental litterbox
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No spam, just fresh catnip, er, updates about this site. (This one works too, really!)
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| 7/29/2001 |
I hope you know that my Mom is participating in the Blogathon. She's chosen the ASPCA as her charity. Please go visit her blog and see what she's up to. I'll be by her side all night, showing my support!
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| 7/20/2001 |
Mom and Dad were going to clean up the kittens a little, when Mom yelled out a bad word, something splattered on the floor, and Dad said, "Yes, that's what that is." One of the kittens made a really nasty mess. It looked really bad, so Mom ran out the door with them and took them to the vet.
She's back now, and so are the two new babies. Both of them have tapeworms (ick) as well as some intestinal bacteria (ick ick). Other than that though, the doc said they look good. The vet treated them for the tapeworms and Mom brought home a bottle of pink medicine for the other problems. She and Dad bathed the pair, fed them a little, then tucked them into a warm bed.
I'm sure that these two are going to be just as charming as their cousins!
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It's raining kittens!
Mom was outside chasing grasshoppers (she's weird that way) when she almost literally stumbled across two more kittens! These must be from my sister Claire's litter. According to my last post about her, they must be just over a month old now.
Boy, they're tiny.
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May nap in sunshine and bask in catnip forever now, Gus!
(Thanks to my gooood friend, bwg for sharing this story with me.)
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| 7/15/2001 |
This is very very true. Um, sorry about that bite, Mom.
HOW TO GIVE A CAT A PILL
1. Pick up cat and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth, pop pill into mouth. Allow
cat to close mouth and swallow.
2. Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process.
3. Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away.
4. Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm, holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.
5. Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call spouse from garden.
6. Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat's throat vigorously.
7. Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered figurines and vases from hearth and set to one side for gluing later.
8. Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with head just visible from below armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw.
9. Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans, drink 1 beer to take taste away. Apply Band-Aid to spouse's forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.
10. Retrieve cat from neighbor's shed. Get another pill. Open another beer. Place cat in cupboard, and close door onto neck, to leave head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with elastic band.
11. Fetch screwdriver from garage and put cupboard door back onhinges. Drink beer. Fetch bottle of scotch. Pour shot, drink. Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus shot. Apply whiskey compress to cheek to disinfect. Toss back another shot. Throw T-shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.
12. Call fire department to retrieve the cat from across the road. Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill from foil wrap.
13. Tie the little bastard's front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining table, find heavy duty pruning gloves from shed. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of filet steak. Be rough about it. Hold head vertically and pour 2 pints of water down throat to wash pill down.
14. Consume remainder of scotch. Get spouse to drive you to the emergency room, sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and removes pill remnants from right eye. Call furniture shop on way home to order new table.
15. Arrange for SPCA to collect mutant cat from hell and call local pet shop to see if they have any hampsters.
HOW TO GIVE A DOG A PILL
1. Wrap it in bacon.
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| 7/12/2001 |
Wow! I just received my first piece of spam mail! From a pet supply web site.
I'd be more impressed if it had been a tuna mail.
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| 7/6/2001 |
Cat on the mat
The fat cat on the mat
may seem to dream
of nice mice that suffice
for him, or cream:
but he is free maybe
walks in thought
unbowed, proud, where loud
roared and fought
his kin, lean and slim,
or deep in den
in the East feasted on beasts
and tender men
The giant lion with iron
claw in paw,
and ruthless tooth
in gory jaw;
the pard dark-stained
fleet upon feet
that oft soft from aloft
leaps on his meat.
Where words loom in gloom
far now they be
fierce and free
and tamed is he;
but fat cat on the mat
kept as pet
he does not forget.
-- J.R.R. Tolkien
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This morning the kittens got to witness one of the Mysteries of the Two-Legs -- the Water Box.
You know, just as Two-Legs start to smell interesting, they get into the box and get all wet! Or sometimes they fill the big bowl with smelly water and just sit in it. Then they get out all stinking like flowers and the stuff by the sink that Spritel likes to lick.
Anyway, this morning I saw all of the kittens lined up outside the Water Box, wondering what the heck Mom was doing in there. Maybe they'll figure it out. I can't. I mean, everyone knows that water is just for drinking. Or for getting it squirted at you if you're doing something you're not supposed to be doing.
Oh, so maybe they're bad at night, and that's the way they punish themselves in the mornings. Weird.
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Well, the kittens have full run of the house now. Yesterday they were going back and forth over the baby gate whenever they felt like it, so Mom just gave up and put it away.
Heh. I'm so proud of them!
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| 7/4/2001 |
Night
My kitten walks on velvet feet
And makes no sound at all;
And in the doorway nightly sits
To watch the darkness fall.
I think he loves the lady, Night
And feels akin to her
Whose footsteps are as still as his,
Whose touch as soft as fur.
- Lois Weakly McKay
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| 7/1/2001 |
So, what's happened lately....
Well, last week, one of the kittens had an "accident" on Mom's beloved orange chair. She had to take it downstairs to try and clean it. She was not very happy about that.
Oh yeah! Mom's birthday was last week! June 28th to be exact. I meant to post something here, but it took me a lot longer to make her present than I thought it would. It's not very easy to sculpt a life-size bust of yourself out of cat litter you know. It takes a lot of hairballs to make that much cat litter stick together. (What? You think I'd use some other material for an adhesive compound?) Anyway, she was thrilled and said she'd put it some place special.
Funny, I haven't spotted that "special place" yet....
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I'm sorry that I haven't posted anything in a while. Being an internet superstar can take its toll, even on a cocky kitty like myself!
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